Curse #54 - Unexpected Milestones

As a mother, there are those milestones in our children's lives that we know are coming; their first steps, their first day of school, their first car.  As tough as these milestones can be on a mother's heart, we know these milestones are coming, and we can properly prepare.

 However, there are some milestones that a mother can't see coming, and can't prepare. Next thing she knows, she feels like a mack truck ran over her heart smushing it into a million tiny little pieces and she still has to keep going on like nothing has happened.

What?

Is my analogy a little strong?

Well, I had one of those unexpected milestones last week, and that's exactly how it felt.

Last week, we celebrated B's eighth birthday with his traditional birthday week.  (Yes, every person in our family gets an entire birthday week.  Yes, my future daughters-in-laws are going to hate me.)

For the past six years, B and I have a tradition of going to the Choo Choo Barn on B's actual birthday. (You can read about how that started here.)

The night before the big event, I asked Brandon, "Guess where we are going tomorrow and dad gets to go with us this year too!?!"

He replied, "uhhh, where Mom?"

What? That was odd! We've been to the Choo Choo Barn every year since he was three and suddenly he, who has an excellent memory, forgets that fact! And you know what else was odd! B hadn't even reminded me we were going all week. In fact, he hadn't said a word about the Choo Choo Barn, and he always drives me crazy reminding me about it every year.

Oblivious to his subtle hints, I told him, "C'mon crazy! Where you and I go every year together. We are going to the Choo Choo Barn!!!" (You have to say the last three words in your best Oprah voice because that's how I said it.)

Not sharing in my excitement, he looked at me and said in the same tone of voice that my parents used when they told me my cat Frisky had been eaten by the neighbor's dog, "Awww Mom. I don't like trains anymore. I've grown up."

Honk! Hooooooooonk! Splat.

B tried to let me down easy, but his words hit like a mack truck to my heart.  I squeaked out, "Okay Baby...I mean Big Guy. We will think of something else to do."

With a big smile on his face, he said, "Thanks Mom," and he went back to watching tv like this monumental milestone didn't just happen.

Spontaneous tears erupted from my eyes.  I just couldn't control it.  Shad, who saw the whole thing, held my hand and chuckled as he said, "Poor Momma's heart."

Fortunately, B was still distracted by the tv and didn't see my whole meltdown. Even in my sadness, I was glad that he felt comfortable enough to tell me the truth, and I didn't want to make him feel bad for growing up.

Grateful for the tv distraction, I took the opportunity to slip out of the room, and started squallin' as soon as I made it to the kitchen.

If you are not familiar with southern vocabulary crying is a couple of tears, but squallin' is ugly crying.

Why did this bother me so much?

I just kept hearing his words over and over in my head, "Awww Mom. I don't like trains anymore. I've grown up."

Suddenly, I was in a spiral of sorrow that sounded a little like this...

Since when is he too grown up for anything besides drinking from a bottle and needing me to change his diaper?

As they approach manhood, boys to pull away from their moms in normal psychological development. Is this the beginning of that?

We had the best time last year. If only I had known it was our last!!!

Eight years old is only one year away from nine which is half way to eighteen.

Half way to adulthood!!!!!

When my squallin' had calmed down to a controllable sob, I decided I only had a few options to handle the situation.

 I could just force him to go. It is a tradition after all! However, the only thing more miserable than not going to the Choo Choo Barn would be going with a grumpy little...I mean grown up....boy.

 I could rebrand the trip. Choo Choo does sound a little babyish. The same trip to the Choo Choo Barn followed by the Petting Zoo and Candy Store with a different, more mature sound may win him over.

"Hey Brandon, do you want to go to the Model Train Agricultural Community? Afterwards, we can go observe some billy goats and get some coffee."

That plan almost worked, but I knew he wouldn't agree to the traditional "sit in the big train and act like a conductor" picture, and then we would be back to the same he's grown up problem again.

The last option was that we just didn't go to the Choo Choo Barn this year.

As much as it stung, this was really my only option.

After processing the milestone for a few days, I realized why this hurt so much.  The Choo Choo Barn was my last bit of "four year old Brandon." The Brandon obsessed with tractors, trains, dirt, and the pair of rain boots that he wore every day for six months.  Four year old Brandon was sweet and fun, but I had to mourn him, let him go, and move on with Brandon today.



As B grows, I don't want to be a mom that freezes in her relationship with her child. I don't want him to grow up, and our only conversations are from years past and never in the present.  I want to know him as he is today. The eight year old who's still sweet and fun, but is now obsessed with books and Star Wars.

So that's just what I did.  Friday, we didn't go to the Choo Choo Barn, but we took a family day and still had lots of fun.

On Saturday, we were all supposed to go to Star Wars Day at a local children's museum for Brandon's Birthday Adventure.  The night before the adventure, Shad said, "Colli hates people in costumes.  Why don't you just take Brandon by yourself."

This was not a man trying to weasle his way out of an activity.  This was a man that knew his wife well and knew exactly what she needed, and that's one of the many reasons I love that man so.

Shad was very right. Star Wars Day with Brandon was so good for my hurt heart.

Although there wasn't a single train in sight, Star Wars Day felt an awful lot like the Choo Choo Barn.

There was still a little...I mean grown up... birthday boy obsessed with his favorite thing.

And there was still a mom that loves that grown up boy so much she loves his favorite thing too.

And that mom occasionally embarrassed that grown up boy.

Someday I'm sure B will tell me, "Awww Mom. I don't like Star Wars anymore. I've grown up," and I will probably squall all over again as that mack truck barrels straight into my heart.

Next time though, I will know that although his interests and hobbies may change as he grows, our connection and love must stay the same. That knowledge really is what got me out of the spiral of sorrow.

Wellllllll, that knowledge and one more thing....

Guess who's going to the Choo Choo Barn on his birthday this year!!!

I figure I can get four more years of trips out of him.

Blessing #221 - Christmas Home Tour 2013

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here! I just love Christmas! I am the designate Christmas Nut in our family! Every family needs a Christmas Nut.

This Christmas, we are going to be in Georgia, and although I've been so excited for Christmas, I just didn't have decorating motivation.  Last Thursday though, I decorated up some mantles.  I decided to just use what I had and go with it.

Here are a few Christmas scenes from our house.

Originally, my Christmas pyrex display was pink flamingo, green, and white, but it became this hodge podgy mix of pieces....AND I LOVE IT!

Normally, I have some chalkboard art in my pantry, but this year with my apron collection, I decided to close the door and add a little tree.

This shelf isn't perfect, but my motto for decorating this Christmas was, "Close enough!" I had to have one of my favorite Buddy the Elf quotes somewhere in my house!

This fall, I found a lot of wooden ornaments, Shad and I both loved them and I love how they are showing up in our Christmas displays.

The nativity is one of my favorites.

In the dining room, I didn't plan on decorating this mantle, but I had some gold sticks, a gold sign, and my nativity. They looked surprising good together.  The green on the bucket kind of messes with your eyes, but I just didn't feel like painting it....Close Enough!

My most favorite addition to our decorations is in the dining room.  Shad and I have been looking for ceramic Christmas trees at yard sales for as long as we've been yard saling. Then one magical day in an over 50 community yard sale...we found three!

Both Shad and I remember our Grandmothers having one of these.  I just love that we have them in our house!

OH! When I bought the white one in the middle, the guy told me, "I used to sell those trees door to door at Christmas time. They were made my prisoners at a local prison, and I worked there."

I just looked at him, "Are you telling me the tree was made by prisoners? That just makes me love it more!!!"

We still have our eyes out for more trees to add to our collection.

On our dining room table, we put a pink poinsettia that our landlord gave us.

In our hallway, I also put another one in an old mop bucket.

On our tree, I changed out the mesh and ribbon.  When we put it up the middle lights were out.  I didn't have time to fix it, and really wanted to get the tree up so....Close Enough! This is our tree before we put all our special ornaments on it.

For our mantle, I planned on doing the same mantle from last year, but then I really wanted to show off my wooden ornaments.

I went nuts when I saw how they looked in the Dr. Pepper crate. I love it!

Here is a full view of our fire place.  We put a little heater in there just to knock off the chill sometimes.  (We can't light a fire in the fire place)

I hope you enjoyed this little tour of my house.  You can find last years tour here. 

I'm sharing this post with A Thoughtful Place. 

31 Days of Goodwill Style - Day 3 - The Turning Point

Yesterday, I shared my history of being fashionably challenged. Today, I am sharing when it all changed.

When I had Brandon, I could not have been more thrilled. Motherhood was amazing, beautiful, and terribly difficult all at the same time.

Was that too honest?

The truth is for about six months after Brandon was born, I struggled. I kept it a secret, and would put my brave face on for a few hours when I saw friends and family. Only Shad knew just how much I was struggling.

I never sought help because I really didn't know what was going on with me (I wish I would have).  After having a second child, I can look back at that time and I'm pretty sure I was going through postpartum depression.

Whatever it was, I really wasn't myself for about six months.

When I started feeling better and more like myself, I noticed how much my clothes affected me.

When I wore a cute outfit, I just felt better about myself and my day.

Sure, I was going to be changing diapers and feeding all day and wouldn't even see anyone, but my day was worth a cute outfit.  I was worth it.

And just like that, this fashionably challenged girl turned into a late bloomer in style.

Suddenly, I was branching out and trying new styles even jewelry.

However as much as a cute outfit helped me, fashion and style can get expensive really fast.

A cute outfit would make me feel nice, but I would also feel guilty about how much money I spent to make it happen.

That's when Goodwill saved the day!

When I shopped at Goodwill, a new outfit would make me look nice and feel nice knowing I was taking care of myself and my family's budget at the same time.

Finding my style was just a little step on my way to taking care of myself.

How about you? Am I the only one that is so affected by my clothes? I'd love to hear what you think about that!

31 Days of Goodwill Style - Day 2 - Tales of the Fashionably Challenged

Before we get too far into 31 Days of Goodwill Style, I want to share a little bit of who I am.

I am no fashion expert.

 In fact, I never really cared about clothes until I had children.

 When I was born, my mother was so thrilled to have a little girl to dress up in pink and ruffles, but as soon as I could say, "No," the ruffles and pink stopped.

 In elementary and middle school, I never really cared about the clothes I wore. Other girls just seemed to naturally "get" fashion and style, but I just didn't. I was good at other things like math, reading, teasing my bangs, and rockin' my Sally Jesse Raphael glasses.

At the start of school in the eighth grade, I got the same skirt in five different colors and the same shirt in five different colors.  This wasn't my mom's idea.  It was my idea.  I liked the skirt. Why not wear it everyday? I was rocking the uniform look before it was ever cool.

Wait. Uniforms still aren't cool? Well, mine was.

In high school, I discovered Goodwill and instantly fell in love! However, I didn't look for trendy styles at Goodwill. I looked for styles that were a few decades old.  I fell in love with vintage clothes, and I loved looking different.

My parents didn't mind my strange style when they realized how much money they were saving because of my love of Goodwill.

(Nothing says cool like posing with your calculator!)

In college, I started dressing in more modern styles, but I still kept my look simple.  Apparently, from these few pictures. I loved a good white collared shirt.

When I got married, I took a job at a school where even the teachers wore uniforms. My eighth grade self would have been so proud!

I loved my job, and it didn't bother me to wear a uniform.  I kind of like that I didn't have to worry about fashion or style.  After a long days work, I would just come home and change into my pajamas.

As you can see, I am no fashion expert.

Most of my life, I have been fashionably challenged!

Why am I sharing this?

Because over the course of the next 31 days, you may be tempted to say, "I can't do that. I just don't have style."

Remember, if I, the fashionably challenged girl can do it, so can you because style is not about money or clothes, it's about knowing who you are and rockin' it.

Blessing #219 - Fall Mantel 2013

Fall is here! Fall is here! And yes, even though the highs this week are in the 80s, I'm still calling it fall!

For my fall mantle this year, I just kept it simple and pulled a few things together that I already had.

My favorite part of this mantel is the sign.  Psalms 126:3 is one of my favorite verses that reminds me of gratitude.

That board is actually the side of a drawer that we pulled out of a dresser.  The drawer fell apart, but I just couldn't get rid of the board.

I'm so glad I didn't.  I just love everything about this sign.  A board made new used to show a verse about what God has done for me. He makes broken things new!

Tomorrow, I start 31 Days of blogging! Last year, I wrote about 31 Days to Love you Home, and I can't wait to start this year!

 

Blessing #217 - School Command Center

When B came home from his first day of school, I almost broke out into hives when I opened up his folder filled with school papers. School papers make me nervous.  Why?

One day last year, I dropped B off at school only to see every other kid carrying a stuffed animal.  I had forgotten it was "stuffed animal day" and I had to rush home and get B's monkey. I must have misplaced that paper.

Last year during parent teacher conferences, I walked in for my conference only to find out I was five hours early! Fortunately, B's teacher was very understanding, and just laughed and worked me into the schedule.  I don't know what happened to the paper with my appointment date.

On the first day of school this year, I had to send a note to let his teacher know that I was picking B up from school. I couldn't find a single sheet of paper so I sent the note on a paper towel.  That's right! I was trying to set her expectations low.

For all those reasons, I kind of freaked out at the sight of the first school papers.  I knew I had to do something different this year.

Determined to change, I decided to turn this little corner into a school command center.

Yes, my poor little "it's August but my calendar says March" corner would be perfect for a school command center.

Here is the finished corner....

I love, LoOoOoVe, LOOOVE it!

Here is the breakdown.

1. I have had this L for forever, and finally found just the right spot for it!

2. The most important thing I wanted in the school command center was a place for school papers. After the success of clip boards for my kid's art display, I decided to try them for school papers too.

This clip board is where I put papers that I can't sign immediately or paper with important dates on them.

3. This clip board is for store coupons that we are always losing. Guess who is going to get a free mini candle from Bath and Body Works this weekend? Me! Because I didn't lose the coupon!

4. I used a pocket just like the one I used for lunch box notes for notes to the teacher.  B's school sends home forms to speak with the teacher, and now I'll actually know where they are! No more paper towel stationary! I added a little vinyl to the clip boards and the pocket just to make things clear.

Wait! While I'm on the subject of my labeling obsession, you have to see this.  Because Shad drinks sweet tea and I drink unsweet tea, our fridge can get a little confusing.  So I labeled the tea pitchers.

I know that was random, but I just had to share.

Back to the school command center.

5. I knew I wanted to put a sign in that spot, but I didn't know just what I wanted to say.  With this being right as you walk out of the house, I thought "Be Awesome Today" was perfect.

6. My calendar says September now! I don't quite know how I want to work that calendar yet.  I'm thinking about using washi tape.

7. A command hook holds our library bag.  That is a thirty-one bag that I painted using this method.

It turned out great.

8. B's book bag is not heavy with books so a command hook is perfect to hold it on the wall.

The corner is a little crowded, and if it was in my main living space, I probably wouldn't like it.  However, this is in the mud room, and we mainly walk right through the mud room.

So far, the little school command center is working great for us. I haven't broken out into school paper hives, and I haven't missed an important day yet. A few hooks and command strips have brought a lot of peace to our school day mornings.

Note: I am sharing this project with A Bowl Full of Lemons. and I Heart Organizing.