Monday, February 20, 2012

Blessing #104 - The Warthog

For about the past month, Brandon has had an imaginary enemy. Yes, some kids have imaginary friends, but B has an imaginary enemy...the Warthog.

It all started when B began watching Call of the Wildman. If you have never seen the show, it's a reality show that follows the Turtleman. He's from the backwoods of Kentucky, and helps people get rid of pesky critters by catching them with his bare hands.

Soon after B started watching the show, he found a hole in our yard. Having watched one too many episodes of Call of the Wildman, B took the hole as a sign of...The Warthog, and he began to earnestly search for The Warthog. Every time he goes outside, he says, "Mom, I'm going to go catch that Warthog." As he plays outside, he yells, "Live Action," (Turtleman's catch phrase), and imagines that he's Turtleman looking for a Warthog.

When we are out and about, he tells every cashier in every store we go to, "Yeah, I got to catch that Warthog. He's really causing lots of trouble." Every cashier has the same reaction, the blank stare.

When he wanted Collin to come outside and play, B said, "Mom, Turtleman has that friend that helps him. Collin needs to help me find that Warthog." Just for a reference, here is a picture of Turtleman's friend that Collin was supposed to be.

I have no idea why he chose the Warthog to be his imaginery enemy. The only warthog I know is, Pumba, from the Lion King, and I don't think he's seen The Lion King recently.

It's been a month now, and he still hasn't caught that pesky Warthog. When he gets in trouble, he even blames it on The Warthog. He got in some big trouble the other day for hurting himself with a hammer (long story). As we were getting onto to him he said...

"But Mom the Warthog....."

I cut him off right there, and actually said the words, "Don't you blame this on that Warthog."

One day, after hearing one too many Warthog excuses, I said, "Brandon, there is no Warthog! I don't think Warthogs even live in Maryland." For a brief instant, he looked at me like I had just told him, "There is no Santa," and I immediately regretted my words.

Fortunately, he paused only for a moment, and then said, "Mom, I'll just have to show you the hole. There IS a Warthog." Realizing my mistake and trying to cover it up, I said, "Yeah Buddy, maybe there is a Warthog. I'll just have to see that hole."

Now, I've kind of grown fond of the imaginery Warthog. Everyday that pesky critter is up to something new. The imaginary Warthog is one of the quirks that makes Brandon...Brandon. I think I'll actually be sad when B finally catches that Warthog.


  1. When he drags it in the door I'll just say "Told you"

  2. Anybody can catch a turtle or a raccoon with their bare hands, but a warthog that is the ultimate of all creatures.  Live Action. #3