Curse #54 - Unexpected Milestones

As a mother, there are those milestones in our children's lives that we know are coming; their first steps, their first day of school, their first car.  As tough as these milestones can be on a mother's heart, we know these milestones are coming, and we can properly prepare.

 However, there are some milestones that a mother can't see coming, and can't prepare. Next thing she knows, she feels like a mack truck ran over her heart smushing it into a million tiny little pieces and she still has to keep going on like nothing has happened.

What?

Is my analogy a little strong?

Well, I had one of those unexpected milestones last week, and that's exactly how it felt.

Last week, we celebrated B's eighth birthday with his traditional birthday week.  (Yes, every person in our family gets an entire birthday week.  Yes, my future daughters-in-laws are going to hate me.)

For the past six years, B and I have a tradition of going to the Choo Choo Barn on B's actual birthday. (You can read about how that started here.)

The night before the big event, I asked Brandon, "Guess where we are going tomorrow and dad gets to go with us this year too!?!"

He replied, "uhhh, where Mom?"

What? That was odd! We've been to the Choo Choo Barn every year since he was three and suddenly he, who has an excellent memory, forgets that fact! And you know what else was odd! B hadn't even reminded me we were going all week. In fact, he hadn't said a word about the Choo Choo Barn, and he always drives me crazy reminding me about it every year.

Oblivious to his subtle hints, I told him, "C'mon crazy! Where you and I go every year together. We are going to the Choo Choo Barn!!!" (You have to say the last three words in your best Oprah voice because that's how I said it.)

Not sharing in my excitement, he looked at me and said in the same tone of voice that my parents used when they told me my cat Frisky had been eaten by the neighbor's dog, "Awww Mom. I don't like trains anymore. I've grown up."

Honk! Hooooooooonk! Splat.

B tried to let me down easy, but his words hit like a mack truck to my heart.  I squeaked out, "Okay Baby...I mean Big Guy. We will think of something else to do."

With a big smile on his face, he said, "Thanks Mom," and he went back to watching tv like this monumental milestone didn't just happen.

Spontaneous tears erupted from my eyes.  I just couldn't control it.  Shad, who saw the whole thing, held my hand and chuckled as he said, "Poor Momma's heart."

Fortunately, B was still distracted by the tv and didn't see my whole meltdown. Even in my sadness, I was glad that he felt comfortable enough to tell me the truth, and I didn't want to make him feel bad for growing up.

Grateful for the tv distraction, I took the opportunity to slip out of the room, and started squallin' as soon as I made it to the kitchen.

If you are not familiar with southern vocabulary crying is a couple of tears, but squallin' is ugly crying.

Why did this bother me so much?

I just kept hearing his words over and over in my head, "Awww Mom. I don't like trains anymore. I've grown up."

Suddenly, I was in a spiral of sorrow that sounded a little like this...

Since when is he too grown up for anything besides drinking from a bottle and needing me to change his diaper?

As they approach manhood, boys to pull away from their moms in normal psychological development. Is this the beginning of that?

We had the best time last year. If only I had known it was our last!!!

Eight years old is only one year away from nine which is half way to eighteen.

Half way to adulthood!!!!!

When my squallin' had calmed down to a controllable sob, I decided I only had a few options to handle the situation.

 I could just force him to go. It is a tradition after all! However, the only thing more miserable than not going to the Choo Choo Barn would be going with a grumpy little...I mean grown up....boy.

 I could rebrand the trip. Choo Choo does sound a little babyish. The same trip to the Choo Choo Barn followed by the Petting Zoo and Candy Store with a different, more mature sound may win him over.

"Hey Brandon, do you want to go to the Model Train Agricultural Community? Afterwards, we can go observe some billy goats and get some coffee."

That plan almost worked, but I knew he wouldn't agree to the traditional "sit in the big train and act like a conductor" picture, and then we would be back to the same he's grown up problem again.

The last option was that we just didn't go to the Choo Choo Barn this year.

As much as it stung, this was really my only option.

After processing the milestone for a few days, I realized why this hurt so much.  The Choo Choo Barn was my last bit of "four year old Brandon." The Brandon obsessed with tractors, trains, dirt, and the pair of rain boots that he wore every day for six months.  Four year old Brandon was sweet and fun, but I had to mourn him, let him go, and move on with Brandon today.



As B grows, I don't want to be a mom that freezes in her relationship with her child. I don't want him to grow up, and our only conversations are from years past and never in the present.  I want to know him as he is today. The eight year old who's still sweet and fun, but is now obsessed with books and Star Wars.

So that's just what I did.  Friday, we didn't go to the Choo Choo Barn, but we took a family day and still had lots of fun.

On Saturday, we were all supposed to go to Star Wars Day at a local children's museum for Brandon's Birthday Adventure.  The night before the adventure, Shad said, "Colli hates people in costumes.  Why don't you just take Brandon by yourself."

This was not a man trying to weasle his way out of an activity.  This was a man that knew his wife well and knew exactly what she needed, and that's one of the many reasons I love that man so.

Shad was very right. Star Wars Day with Brandon was so good for my hurt heart.

Although there wasn't a single train in sight, Star Wars Day felt an awful lot like the Choo Choo Barn.

There was still a little...I mean grown up... birthday boy obsessed with his favorite thing.

And there was still a mom that loves that grown up boy so much she loves his favorite thing too.

And that mom occasionally embarrassed that grown up boy.

Someday I'm sure B will tell me, "Awww Mom. I don't like Star Wars anymore. I've grown up," and I will probably squall all over again as that mack truck barrels straight into my heart.

Next time though, I will know that although his interests and hobbies may change as he grows, our connection and love must stay the same. That knowledge really is what got me out of the spiral of sorrow.

Wellllllll, that knowledge and one more thing....

Guess who's going to the Choo Choo Barn on his birthday this year!!!

I figure I can get four more years of trips out of him.

Blessing #211 - B's Birthday Week #7

If you know me at all, you know that I love birthdays. I really love my birthday, but I like other people's birthday too.

Life Rule #483,395 - When you make a big deal about your own birthday, you have to make a big deal about everyone else's birthday in your family.

This week B turns seven. I know I can't believe it either.

Every year for his birthday, he has a birthday week just like every member of our family.

During birthday week, B gets a different surprise every day.  Here is how this year's birthday week looks. 

Monday - We are making Bouncy Balls. 

Tuesday - A water fight when he gets home from school.  

Wednesday - Birthday Cake - I am attempting to make this cake. 

Thursday - This is his actual birthday so according to tradition, we are going to the Choo Choo Barn.

Friday - We are going to see one of his favorite people at their house. 

Saturday - His birthday adventure - (or we might do it on Labor Day) We are going to Washington D.C. and going to see the Air and Space and the Natural History Smithsonians (They are free!) 

A birthday week is just a chance to stop and show someone that you love them.  By the end of the week, B is pretty spoiled rotten.  

I do need your help though.  August starts my marathon of birthday weeks.  

B - end of August

Shad - beginning of October

Colls - beginning of November

I love doing this for all my guys, but sometimes I run low on ideas. 

If you see any ideas for birthdays or how to make a kid or a husband feel special, I would love for you to send them my way.  You can find my pinterest here, you could facebook them to me, or email them to me at stephlankford@yahoo.com . 

I'd love to know what your family does for birthdays.  How do you make them special?

 

Blessing #148 - Shad's Birthday Adventure

Yesterday, I shared Shad's birthday week, and today is all about his birthday adventure.  One year for his birthday adventure, we explored Philadelphia, and another year we tried to see how many Goodwills we could go to in one day.  This year Shad's birthday adventure was at the gun range.

A few months before his birthday, Shad was talking with our friends that love guns and mentioned how much he would love to go shooting. When his birthday rolled around, I contacted our friends and set up a day when we could go.  I was surprised how excited Shad was about this adventure.  I just did not realize he liked to shoot guns.  Ten years together, and he still surprises me.

When the big birthday adventure day came, Shad did great! He was a great shot.

Our friends we seasoned pros, and even had a competition against each other.

All in all, it was a great day, and I'm so glad Shad had so much fun.......

What?

How did I do?

Oh.  You know. I hit the target my first two shots, and then after that I missed...every time.

In fact, I twitched every time right before I shot the gun, and I leaned back every time I shot.  Our friend tried to help me stand up straight when I shot.

All my life, I have been afraid of guns.  In fact, before this day, I had never shot a real gun.  My mother has told me horror stories of people cleaning guns and they accidentally went off, and that absolutely terrified me of them.  Strangely, my brother who had the same mother collects guns, and always has one on him. Maybe it's not my mom's fault....nah! I'm blaming it on my mom.

Did I overcome my fear of guns in this one trip to the gun range? No, but I would love to try it again.  Especially now that I know how much this guy loves it.

Birthday Adventures 2012

  

Blessing #146 - Collin's Birthday Adventure

Saturday, we celebrated Collin's birthday with his birthday adventure. I'm not very big on birthday parties.  There is nothing wrong with a birthday party, I have a friend that is the kids birthday party queen.  She throws fantastic birthday parties.  For me though, a birthday adventure is my cup of tea. 

When I started thinking about what to do for a two year old's birthday adventure, I went blank, but then one day it hit me.  Slides! Colli loves slides.  For his birthday adventure, we decided to see how many slides Colli could conquer in one day. 

We spent all Saturday morning running around town looking for playgrounds.  In the end, Colli conquered 25 slides.  We could have gotten him on more slides, but it was in the 40s and freezing....at least to this warm blooded Georgia girl.  

Here is a picture of Colli on all the slides.   

  This picture is my favorite.  It's just too cute.

"Who put the speed bumps on my slide?"

Our entire family tried to make the day fun for our little guy, and I think he had a great day.  I really want my boys to see the fun in the every day.  Like they say in Up, "Adventure is out there."    Even sliding down slides can be an adventure.

Blessing #127 - Thoughts on Skydiving

Since I went skydiving, I have sat down several times to write a post about the experience.  I tried a few different angles, but I just couldn't get my thoughts in order.  So here are my random thoughts about skydiving in a random list.

1. When I asked Shad, "Hey, would you mind if I went skydiving?" I was really asking, "Hey, can I strap myself (very tightly) to a complete stranger...probably a man, and throw myself out of an airplane...voluntarily.  Oh! And could you stay on the ground and watch our kids as I do it, and hope and pray that my parachute opens?"  It takes a strong man to say yes to that question.  Fortunately, I have a strong man.

2. As tough as you make think you are by going skydiving, nothing makes you look more like an L 7 weenie than taking a few puffs from your inhaler before you suit up. (+2 points for Sandlot reference)


3. The day before I jumped, this story came out about "80 year olds Skydiving Trip from Hell."  I did not read the whole story because I was too scared.  I just assumed she lived because the headline didn't read, "Grandma Dies Skydiving."  I mentioned this to my tandem partner as he was fixing my straps.  He said, "The problem is when the door to the plane is open no sounds like go."  I looked at him and said, "Well, if we get up there and you hear me yelling, 'banana' that means no. Do not leave the plane."

4.  If you ever go skydiving, pay the extra money and get the video.   I'm cheapy cheapskate and I wasn't going to do it, but a friend on facebook that had skydived encouraged me to get the video.  I'm so glad I did.  Having the video really showed Shad and the boys what it was like.  They got to experience it with me. Shad was actually surprised by how calm I was.  I think I earned a few, "my wife is awesome" points.

5. There is a very simple answer if anyone says, "You shouldn't skydive. You are a mom and that's selfish,"   The Duggar Mom, mother of 19 kids,  did it! Yes! All of life is full of risks.  Is skydiving a risk? Yes, but for me the benefits outweighed the risks.

6. After you skydive, from that point on if anything ever happens to anyone while skydiving, everyone will make sure and tell you about it. 

7.   When I was picking a company that I was going to jump with, one of my requirements was whether or not they made you wear a jumpsuit.  Some skydiving places have you jump in your normal clothes, but Skydive Delmarva has jumpsuits that go over your clothes.  It's a small thing, but it makes the jump feel more professional, and if there's one time I don't want to go casual, it's when I'm jumping out of a plane. 

8.  When people hear that I went skydiving (because I bring it up in as many conversations as possible), they have one of two reactions.  People will say, "You are crazy," or they will say, "I have always wanted to do that!"  I think there are two types of people in the world.  Those that want to go skydiving and those that know they don't want to go skydiving.  There doesn't seem to be many in between people. 

9.  I was terrified...TeRrIfIeD the last few days before I jumped, but once I got on the plane the excitement (or temporary insanity) took over and I felt nothing but excitement. 

10.  During free fall, it did not feel like I was falling.  When you are two miles in the air, the ground isn't rushing to your face as you fall.  You don't have any building or anything to give you perspective.  It feels like you are flying.  It's absolutely....100% amazing. 

11. One of my favorite parts of skydiving was being above the clouds.  When my tandem partner first pulled the rip cord, we were even with the clouds.  He even went over to one so I could reach out to it.  When I get really excited, I have to narrate out loud to myself what is happening.  I just said over and over, "It's my thirtieth birthday, and I'm touching a cloud!"

12. If skydiving is something you've always wanted to do....DO IT!  Life is filled with too many, "I wish I could haves," or "I always wanted to's." Skydiving is one you can easily cross of that list.  All you need to do is save up your money...and courage.
 

Blessing #123- Skydiving video

Monday, I mentioned that I was going skydiving for my birthday.  Well, I actually went through with it, and I'm so glad I did!

I'm going to write about the experience later this week, but for now, I have the video. 

During freefall, in case you wonder, I mouth the words, "I love you Shad. I love you Brandon. I love you Collin, I'm thirrrrrrrty!"

Blessing #122 - My 30th Birthday, and the 10th Birthday Adventure

Hold on one second.....

Just one minute....

I'll be ready in a second....

I've just got to put on my dacin' shoes to do my happy dance because.....

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

Yes, let the celebration begin. I'm thirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrty.  (Sorry, I'm still having a little trouble saying it.) 

Every year on my birthday we have a birthday adventure.  In the past we have explored Baltimore, Washington DC, the beach, and amish country.  However this year I needed something bigger.  I am 30 after all.  It's a multiple of 10.  It deserves to be celebrated.

I started thinking of the best way to celebrate this birthday over 6 months ago (Yes, I plan that far ahead).  Every single time I thought of celebrating my 30th only one activity popped in my head.  Only one adventure would do for this year....skydiving.

Yes, jumping out of a plane is just the cure for my third life crisis.

When I turned 20, my dad arranged for me to fly in a go cart with a fan and parachute on the back. I know there is a more technical term, but I can't think of it right now. Here's a picture of one.

It was absolutely amazing to be that high in the air with hardly any barriers or restraints.
That was the first birthday I did a "birthday adventure."  I guess for my 30th, I wanted to follow the same theme, and skydiving seemed to fit.

Am I scared? Yes! Terrified! I really don't like to fly and I have ended up in tears every time I have flown.  Shad flew with me once, and immediately vowed never to fly with me again because I was such a wreck.  So yes, I'm scared.  In fact, right before I opened up blogger to write this post, one of the headlines on yahoo said, "Grandma's Terrifying Skydive." Great! That's just what I want to see before I jump.

As scared as I am, I know if I don't do this, I will always regret it.

So around 11:00 AM today, my plan is to welcome this new decade of life much like I began my first decade, with arms wide open, screaming to the top of my lungs, and living life to it's absolute fullest. 

Blessing #82- The Choo Choo Barn

Last Monday was B's birthday (I've mentioned that a FEW times). For his birthday week, I tried to plan a different surprise everyday. One day he painted, another day he had friends over, and he had his birthday adventure to Dutch Wonderland. Hurricane Irene ruined my surprises for the weekend, but I tried to make it up to him by letting him go puddle jumping.



Monday morning, on his actual birthday, B seemed to be moping around our house. I tried to cheer him up by singing "Happy Birthday," but he still seemed down. Then he looked at me with the saddest face and said, "I thought we were going to the Choo Choo Barn." For the past two years, we have gone to the Choo Choo Bran around his birthday, and he assumed we were going this year to keep the tradition.

Feeling terrible, I called Shad and told him what B had said. Shad laughed and told me I should take him. I called to find out about some cleaning I had to do at the guest house, but it was already done. My day had been cleared, and I could not find a reason not to go to the Choo Choo Barn. We got ready and made the hour and a half trip with a very excited Brandon.



The Choo Choo Barn is a giant train model that visitors can walk around to see. You can find out about it by clicking here. It cost $11 total for B, Collin, and I to see it. Most kids make it around the model pretty fast, so I would suggest going around the model twice. B spent an hour and a half looking at the model. We spent about 20 minutes waiting for a little light to turn from green to red. After seeing the model so many times, B was giving the other visitors tips, "Make sure you see the house on fire right over there."


The house on fire is one of my favorites too.



Here come the firemen.


The fireman save one of the people and work on the roof.



That day I was very reflective and I spent most of the hour and a half we were there just watching Brandon. Very aware of how fast time is moving and how quickly he growing, I spent the day just watching and enjoying him. Some birthday he won't ask to go to the Choo Choo Barn, but I'm glad this birthday he did.

Blessing #81- Dutch Wonderland

For Brandon's birthday adventure, we took him to Dutch Wonderland. Dutch Wonderland is basically Six Flags for toddlers.

This may make me a bad parent, but I haAaAate Dutch Wonderland. I was constantly surrounded by hundreds of kids, and at any given point 20% of those kids were having meltdowns, and those "meltdowning" kids were always standing right beside me.

The kids were bad, but the parents were even worse. Every conversation I overheard was about little league, potty training, or how much stronger, taller, and smarter their kid was than someone else's kid.

Half way through the day, I was already mentally writing a "Curse #28" post about Dutch Wonderland in my head. I even took a picture of the animatronic bears as one of the reasons I hated it. (Seriously, are those not the creepiest?)


However I also saw this all day...


and this....
***Warning***Do not try to take a picture on the dizzy turtle. You will get really sick looking through the view finder.

and this...

My experience completely changed when I tuned out all the annoying background noise (and animatronic bears) and focused on what was really important. When my focus changed, Dutch Wonderland moved from Curse #28 to Blessing #81.

Blessing #57 - 29th Birthday Adventure

Instead of doing a normal Project Life post today, I decided to post pictures of my birthday adventure to Baltimore. About five years ago, Shad and I started doing birthday adventures. My first one was supposed to be to a go-cart track, but I got sick. His first one was a day on 4 wheelers, but he got hurt in the first ten minutes.

For some reason, we kept at it, and have had nothing but wonderful birthday adventures since then. For this birthday adventure, we decided to explore Baltimore. We had driven through the city on several occasions, but we had never really explored it. the day did not go as we planned, but I think we ended up having more fun. We will definitely be going back, there is so much more to see.


Shad's sister gave us tickets to the aquarium for Christmas (Thank you very much Shannon). We decided to use those on my birthday adventure! I love this picture of Brandon looking at the dolphin tank.







You have to check in your stroller at the aquarium, but they give you a baby carrier to use. Collin enjoyed it, and even fell asleep in it.


We were riding on the bus headed to our car, but then we saw this "Goodwill Boutique" out of the window. We had to get off and check it out.




We were going to pose for a picture on the balcony of Barnes and Noble, but both Brandon and I got caught up in Collin. It was a really sweet moment that Shad captured.


This was not a posed picture. Shad checked to see what was inside this children's museum that was closed, and his little shadow had to follow him. My camera is always ready, so I snapped a picture of this sweet moment.


1 fountain + a little wind = lots of fun


After we gave this street performer some money, he asked if I had any requests. I requested one of my favorite songs, "Fly me to the Moon." It was beautiful, and my favorite moment of the day. Dancing on the street...or dancing at all is not Shad's thing (he can't clap on beat), Brandon refused to dance with me, and Collin was sleeping. I had three boys and no one to dance with. So I tapped my toes and sung along. When we walked away, he started playing "Happy Birthday" for me.


Poor wittle Cowwin was so sweepy. The boys were such troopers. We were out the whole day. Collin never cried and Brandon never whined.


On our way out of Baltimore, we took our time, and passed by CAFE EINSTEIN! I wanted to yell, "It's a birthday miracle!" Unfortunately, it wasn't open, but I did get a picture with the sign.

The day went nothing like Shad planned, but we had so much fun. It truly was an adventure.