Friday, August 23, 2013

Curse #52 - Girlfriends

Remember yesterday's sweet and touching post that I wrote through tears.  If you missed it, you can read it here.  I am so pleased to inform you that B had a wonderful first day of school.

In fact, when I picked B up, he excitedly ran to me and said, "Mom, I saw my girlfriend, Haley, and I asked her if she still wanted to marry me and she still does!"

Now, I need to stop and give a little background information.  Last year, shortly after B started kindergarten, he came home and informed me that he had a girlfriend, Haley. (Let's just call her Haley for the purpose of this post even though her name is not Haley.)

Anyway, when he told me he had a girlfriend, I had to choose how to react.  Would I condemn or encourage his new relationship? Ultimately, I decided to be neutral.  I was Switzerland when it came to Haley.  I wanted him to feel comfortable talking to me about girls, and these childhood "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" deals pass quickly.

Last year, Haley was in a different class than B and I never met her. I forgot to buy a yearbook so I never saw a picture of her. Even though he spoke of her often, I honestly suspected that she was imaginary.

Last year, he did bring home this picture that he said she gave him. In fact, his exact words were, "Mom, my girlfriend gave me this and it has gone way too far for me."

My interpretation of this picture is that she is either kissing him under a table or burning him with her x-ray vision and both are equally disturbing to me.  Obviously, she is the aggressor in the picture.  Doesn't that seem a little forward to give a picture of kissing to a boy? That kindergarten Jezebel!!!!

Wait. I realize that it's not appropriate to call a six year old Jezebel. My apologies.

Switzerland.  I am Switzerland.

In the end, I decided there was no need to get upset because these things don't last over the summer.

Well yesterday, I learned how wrong I was.  The ride home from school sounded like this...

"Haley, said she would still marry me......even if I was a hunter!!!"

"Haley, sat beside me in music!"

"Haley, used to like two other boys and me, but at recess she said she only liked me now and not them!"

Really!!! She had three boys on the line at one time!!! That little elementary school hussy!!!

Wait.  As soon as I typed that, I realized how that sounded. It is not appropriate to use the word "hussy" when referring to a small child. I am deeply sorry.

Switzerland.  I am Switzerland.

If I am Switzerland, Shad would have to be France because he is like the guillotine. Once when B mentioned Haley, Shad shot it down with, "No girlfriends yet.  If you marry her you will have to move far FARRRRR away from Mommy and Daddy." B thought for a while and then said, "Oh! Then we will just move in with you."

Way to go France! That didn't go how we planned!

I don't know where this is headed, but with two boys in the house, I do know we have to get used to the girlfriend subject.  In the end, I want B to feel comfortable talking with me about his heart. I don't know if I'll be able to keep my neutrality forever, but for now, when it comes to Haley, I am Switzerland.

Which is good for her because if she ever hurts my little angel's heart she could not imagine the southern hissy fit I will rain down on her.

Wait. Not appropriate.

Switzerland. I am Switzerland.

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