About a month ago, a mother bird built a nest in our kitchen window sill. We loved watching those little birds grow. Last week, the boys and I were lucky enough to walk by and see the last baby bird about to leave the nest.
We quietly hid and watched as he stood on the edge of the window sill working up his courage. Suddenly, he lost that courage and stepped back into the nest. After a few weeks with her in my window sill, I knew the sound of the momma bird's call, and I could hear the momma bird calling to him.
A few minutes later, we walked by and saw that the last baby bird had taken flight.
Although the boys and I watched the same exact scene, our reactions were quite different. The boys cheered and laughed as they routed for the nervous baby bird while I quietly cried just thinking of that momma bird chirping for her baby.
The momma bird watches her babies take flight all at once, but I'm watching my baby take flight one little step at a time.
Today, he starts first grade, and I really thought it would be easier this year. Aren't I used to the whole school thing by now?
Just like last year, I'm excited in a way for this day. B is so social and so energetic. He needs school. However, there's another part of me that is just plain scared.
I worry about how the other kids will treat him. B has always marched to the beat of his own drum, but school can be a tough place for kids that are different.
I worry about a new teacher. We were so spoiled last year with his kindergarten teacher. She was wonderful and patient. I know he can be frustrating and a handful, but will the knew teacher look past that and see that he has the softest, kindest, sweetest little heart?
I just want everyone he ever meets to realize that he's awesome and be nice to him. Is that too much to ask?
B is a living, breathing piece of my heart walking around, and while I cheer for each new milestone, I also realize that each milestone is another step out of my nest.
With every step he takes out of my nest, I am just reminded that Brandon is not really mine but God's. That's an easy thing to say, but much harder to live.
Today, I will walk him to the door of this new school year, and tell him, "Goodbye. I love you and have fun." Afterwards, just like last year, I'll walk back to the car, say a prayer, cry for a while, and then I'll head to Target where there are lots pretty shiny things to distract me. I'm sure that's what the momma bird did.