Ever since I was a little girl, I have hated Halloween. Was it because I had a strong religious conviction against it? Not exactly. I hated Halloween because of one person...Elvira.
For some strange reason, I have always been terrified of Elvira. She was my boogeyman...boogeywoman. When I was little, every Halloween meant lots of Elvira commercials. Inevitably, when every Elvira commercial came on, I would scream, shake, run around, cry, and just go plain ol' hysterical.
One year, the grocery store put out a life size cut out of Elvira. My mom innocently drove our buggy right by it. After my meltdown on aisle 6, my mom went way out of her way to miss the cut out until Halloween was over.
My brother definitely did not help the situation. He would sneak in my room, and simply say...
Chad (my brother): Elviiiiiiira.
me: Chad, I know that's you and it's not funny.
me: I said it's not funny.
Chad: mmm boppa mmm boppa mmm boppa mow wow
me: I promise I will hurt you. As soon as it's light outside and not quite so scary, I will hurt you! (tears, tears, tears)
To this day, I still hate the Oak Ridge Boys for that awful song. Of all the women they could have chosen to sing about, why did they pick Elvira?
Last week, I was innocently watching tv, when a commercial came on for a show's very special Halloween episode. Guess who was in the episode? That's right. Elvira. As soon as she popped up on the screen, my stomach jumped and I instinctively closed my eyes. Yes that's right. I am 29 years old, and I'm still scared of Elvira. In fact, I would have included a picture in this post, but I was too creeped out to google her picture.
As excited as I am to get my candy tonight, I will be very happy to see Halloween and Elvira, go for another year.