Thursday, November 3, 2011

Blessing #91- Collin's 1st Birthday!

Colli Bear,

First, I need to apologize for your nickname from me. I know it’s not the manliest nickname, and I realize that Colli is a breed of dog, but sometimes nicknames just happen. It started as Cozzi Bear, which I took from Fozzi Bear. In case you grow up in a world with no Fozzi Bear (that would be just sad), Fozzi Bear is a bear that is also an aspiring stand up comedian. Oh! And he’s a puppet too. (Wacka wacka)

Anyway, Cozzi Bear became Colli Bear, and many times, I just leave off the Bear and call you Colli. Again, I apologize, but sometimes nicknames just happen.

Note: This excuse will not work if for some reason, someday, you decide to call me “big mama.”

This first year with you has been absolutely magical. There are so many things I could tell you.

How your dad and I didn’t know what to do with such a good baby.

How you love your alligator.

How you give the best hugs ever.

How you eat like a horse.

How you learned to walk and climb in the same week.

How we are convinced you can sing “Happy Birthday” (seriously, you do).

But today, I want to tell you about my favorite moment of your first year - your first thirty seconds in the world.

Right after you were born, the doctor placed you (still screaming) on my chest.

Now, you must know before this moment, I had been nervous. I had no idea how in the world I was going to have enough love for you. I know that sounds strange, but my heart seemed so full already with Shad and Brandon. How in the world would I have enough love for another baby? I even worried about how I had been too busy to read you stories or think about you constantly when I was pregnant. I felt like I was failing even before you were born.

However, all those fears and worries vanished the second the doctor placed you on my chest. You stopped crying, and looked up at me with your sweet little eyes. Through my tears I said, “There’s my Collin. “ When I saw you, it was as if I had always known you. Like you were always meant to be with me, and in an instant I was head over heels in love with you.

I like to think there has always been a spot in my heart marked “Collin.” I just didn’t know it, but the second I saw your sweet little eyes (and chubby cheeks), you opened the part of my heart always meant for “Collin” and unlocked the love reserved just for you.

Okay, I know I’m being sappy, but that moment I met you was one of the most powerful moments of my life.

1 year ago today, you changed my life for the better. 1 year ago today, you made me a better mom and person. I love you, and can’t wait to see the surprises you have in store!

Happy Birthday Colli Bear!


  1. Happy Birthday Collin. Stephanie this made me cry. Being a grandfather has soften my heart but not to the point of calling him Colli Bear. Very good post.   #3

  2. Stephaie. I completely understand about being worried you would have enough love--then that instant love when you see & hold the new miracle. that is its own miracle,

  3. Great post Stephanie!  #3s#1

  4. Happy Birthday Colli Bear!  Wacka Wacka!