Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Curse #39 - Sermon Tools

Sometimes having a dad that's a pastor really stinks!

For the most part, I have always loved that my dad is a pastor.  He's a good person, dad, and he really seeks God in his life, but there is one part of having a dad for a pastor that I don't like. 

No one, NO ONE can give a better guilt trip than a dad that's a pastor.

When I was 15, I had a spin out in our car and refused to drive after the experience.  After a couple of years of me being afraid, my dad preached a message on facing fear.  After church as we were walking out to the car, he handed me the keys and told me to drive home.  I guess he wanted me to practice what he preached.

A few years ago, I started working towards getting my master's degree.  After Collin was born, I took a break, and that "break" has now lasted a year and a half. 

For the past month, my parents have been "encouraging" me to start back up and finish up my degree, but I've really been dragging my feet, and haven't yet seen the light.

My dad has made it his mission to make sure I finish my degree, and he is using his almost 30 years of preparing sermons, counseling people, and hearing every excuse in the book to do it. 

Every time he says anything about it, I just tell him, "When I work my courage up, I'll do it." That phrase has worked for several weeks, but yesterday, my dad caught on to me, and used every tool he uses in his sermons against me. 

Sermon Tool #1 - Reflective Questions

dad: Stephanie, you say that you have to work your courage up, just what are you afraid of.

me: I don't know dad.  It's just scary.

dad: What makes this scary?

me: I don't know.  I think I may have failed the last class I took right before Collin was born, and I'm afraid to face that. 

Sermon Tool #2 - Personal Story

dad: I felt the same way when I failed 10th grade biology, but we have to face what has happened. 

me: Yes.  I guess.

Sermon Tool #3 - Quotes

dad: That's right, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself.  Who said that? Roosevelt?

me: Yes, Roosevelt said that. 

Sermon Tool #4 - Bible Story Reference

dad: You have been given an amazing opportunity and you are going to be held accountable for how you acted on this. (parable of the talents reference)

me: I know. 

My dad cut me a little slack and did not use ever sermon tool he had. 

 Sermon Tool #5 - Quote a Bible verse

 He did not use this one on me even though he is a walking concordance.

 Sermon Tool #6  Alliterated Three Point Outline

 I think he didn't use this one because I would have caught on after the second point.  I guess he knows that he has to be sneaky about his "sermons" to me. 

If I don't get on the whole master's thing, he will probably break out the big guns with...

 Sermon Tool #7 - The Altar Call.

This conversation has not happened yet, but I imagine it will sound like this. 

dad: You need to face your fears and get this done.  Now, let's all bow our heads. 

me: What?

dad: If you are here today, and you have a fear you need to face with an uplifted hand you are saying "Preacher, I need to face my fears."

me: Seriously?

dad: I see that hand.

me: Dad! #1 - I didn't raise my hand, and #2 we are on the phone you can't even see me. 

dad: I see that other hand.

me: What's that sound. Is that Mom singing "Just As I am ?"

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