Blessing #184 - Romance and the Shulamite Woman

Remember in October when I mentioned the (in)couragers from (in)courage community. Well, session two of (in)couragers started up yesterday, and I am so excited to be (in)couraging with my friends at (in) Perfect Balance again.  

At (in) Perfect Balance, this week is romance week, and I thought I would share my post from there over here today. (Yes, I realize that sentence sounded weird.)  

During the first few years of our marriage, I had a problem with my husband.  Most arguments ended with me complaining how he wasn't romantic anymore, and part of that was true.

After our wedding day, Shad didn't write as many love notes, and he didn't stare into my eyes for hours upon end.  However, I failed to see the whole picture.  I blamed our lack of romance completely on my husband and failed to see my part in the problem.   In my misguided thinking, I believed that the man should have to romance the woman, and if I reminded my husband of that fact enough wouldn't he change?

About five years into our marriage (Hey, I'm a slow learner), I realized that romance is a two way street.  Don't believe me? Just read that often overlooked book of the Bible, the Song of Solomon.  The Shulamite woman romances Solomon just as much as he romances her.

If we learn virtue from the Proverbs 31 woman, can't we learn romance from the Shulamite woman.  She doesn't mince words to let her man know that she loves him and wants him.  

Eventually, I stopped trying to change my husband and started to change myself by focusing on romancing him.  A little surprise, a sweet note, or a little spice all let him know that his lips are like lillies.  His arms are like rounded bars of gold, and his body like ivory.....Well, it sounded cool when the Shulamite woman said it!

Dennis Rainey said, "Romance is not the foundation of a marriage.  It is the fire in the fireplace, the warmth and security of a relationship."  This Valentine week, take a note from the Shulamite woman and try to fan the flame of romance in your marriage.

You can find the the (in)courager group I'm in here, but you can also find more groups here.  This session they have new groups for infertility, chronic illness, and many other topics. 

I'm linking this post up to Wifey Wednesday on To Love Honor and Vacuum.