Monday, September 10, 2012

Curse #47 - Mistaken Identity

This weekend, I went to a Women of Faith event with a group of women from my church. On Friday afternoon, I met my friends at a Wawa (a gas station) to carpool to the event. They were running about thirty minutes late, and it was almost time for B to get out of school so I told Shad, “You can just leave me here. I'm a big girl. I'll be okay.”

After Shad left, I went into the gas station to get some snacks for the road. As I walked around the gas station with my overnight bag, everyone looked at me like I was a kleptomaniac even though my overnight bag was a Thirty One bag, and everyone knows Thirty One is based on Proverbs 31 the virtuous woman passage. It's impossible to use a Thirty One bag to steal!

Tired of looking like a klepto, I went outside hoping to find a bench. With no benches in sight, I just stood outside the gas station holding my overnight bag. I thought, “Great. Now I look like a hooker.” I tried to think of a funny facebook status about it, but I couldn't get my words right so I just took a picture of my cute bag.


Content with the quiet, I checked my favorite blogs on my phone as I waited for my ride. Then I heard it.

*snap*

*snap snap snap*

*snap snap*

At first, I just thought, “Hmm. That's annoying. Someone is not snapping on beat at all.” Then after a minute, I realized, the snapping was at me. I debated if I should look or not, but eventually I looked towards the snapping. Halfway across the parking lot, but close enough to clearly see his face, a man in a locksmith's truck was looking right at me. Apparently, he thought I looked like a hooker too.  As soon as we made eye contact, he slapped the side of his truck. He was silent, but his eyes clearly spoke what he wanted.  

Creeped out, I wanted to yell at him, “Mr. Locksmith, you will never pick this lock. I'm happily married and on my way to the Women of FAITH not Women of the Night conference, and who would turn tricks while carrying a Thirty One bag!?!” However, I didn't yell at him. Instead, I looked right at him with the meanest face I had, turned around, and walked back into the Wawa. I figured I was safer in there, and besides, I would rather look like a klepto than a hooker.

I didn't believe he would follow me into the gas station, but I determined that if he came near me the headline would read....

WOMAN BEATS MAN WITH THIRTY ONE BAG
man in critical condition, but bag is fine due to its wipe able exterior

Honestly, I was never scared because I never felt like I was in danger. I was just very....VERY creeped out and stunned.

Now to recap because it's a lot to take in: I, Stephanie Lankford, was accosted in a Wawa parking lot while I waited for my ride to a Christian women's conference.

Who does this happen to !?!

You may be wondering what I was wearing to make this happen.  Well, I just so happen to have a pic of the outfit.


See! A completely respectable outfit, not fish nets and platform boots. Afterwards, I texted my mom (because that is what I do after every major life event) and told her it must have been the giant black flower pin. Mom thought the pin may have been a signal, like turning on the red light, and told me to take it off.

Other than that incident, I really enjoyed my weekend at Women of Faith.  I just had a really interesting (and long) answer when somone asked, "How was your ride up here?"
 

6 comments:

  1. that's one of the funniest stories I think I have ever heard! Thanks for that this morning!

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  2. You totally crack me up! Too bad we did not hang out more in high school and too bad again that you live sooo far away! We would have so much fun! I am still laughing! I wish i could have seen these! I love your blogs...you tell a story so well, so the Lord is going to keep giving you some stories to tell for all of us...laughter is good medicine! I needed that this morning!!! hope you had a good weekend at the conferences. I went to a teen conference with our teen group. I was blessed with Brother Cary Schmidt and his sessions! Have a good weekend! Krista

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  3. You totally do not look like a hooker.  That outfit was VERY cute and VERY appropriate for a Women of Faith program. 

    I will have to disagree with you though...I would most certainly use my 31 bag to beat a strange man  upon the head for assuming I was a street-walker.  Maybe that makes me the opposite of the woman described in Proverbs 31.  Actually, it definitely makes me the opposite...and I'm okay with that :-)

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  4. i laughed so hard. after being thankful nothing truly horrible happened! that outfit is adorable and you look perfectly respectable! cute bag too :)

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  5. Wow I couldn't help but laugh!!! You looked great and nothing like a street walker/clepto!! What a story!

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  6. Calculating BlessingsOctober 18, 2012 at 9:53 PM

    Thanks Marisa! 

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