Today as I type this, I have 2 ½ weeks until my due date. According to an ultrasound on Thursday, the little man is estimated to already be 8 pounds! Now I could tell you about how, because of my pregnant belly, I can no longer tie my shoes, I can’t pick up a piece of paper off the floor without getting winded, or how my wearable wardrobe is dwindling down to nothing. However, today I want to focus on the power of my pregnant belly. Recently, I’ve noticed that people are treating me differently. Let me give you some examples.
1. In stores, I feel like Moses walking through the red sea. People seem to part just to get out of my way.
2. In Walmart, I knocked an item off the shelf with my purse, and immediately a middle aged man hurried to pick it up for me. I thanked him and he replied , “No problem. No problem.”
3. People are constantly smiling at me and wishing me luck. They seem impressed and proud that I'm just walking around.
These are all ways that I’ve seen the power of the belly, but the most noticeable power of the belly is haggling at yard sales. This weekend, a woman wanted $10 for an item. I offered her $5. That's half of what she wanted. She didn’t argue with me, but just said, “$5...Sure!” I can’t tell you how many times this has happened. I thought haggling was going to be difficult, but everyone gives me what I want. Why is this? I’m not a skilled negotiator, but I’m convinced it’s the power of the belly. Here’s what I think the people are thinking when they are haggling with me.
“She wants to only give me $5 for that! Wait…look at her. If I make her angry, she might pop right here in my yard, and that’s bad for business. On top of that who would cover the cost, my homeowner’s insurance, or her insurance? I hate to take a $5 loss, but if it gets that ticking time bomb out of here, let her have it.”
Then they sweetly smile at me and say, “$5... Sure," and I feel like a haggling queen.
I have only encountered one person that was not influenced by the power of the belly. I recently had an appointment with a doctor that was mean and downright rude to me. (Note: Maybe she wasn’t as mean as she seemed. But I've gotten so used to people being so nice to me, she seemed rude in comparison.) Here’s why the power didn’t work, she was just as pregnant as I was. I guess the power of her belly voided out my belly's power. Oh well, at least it works on everyone else. I told Shad my theory, and he says when we decide to buy a house, I need to stuff pillows under my shirt.
No comments:
Post a Comment