Blessing #81- Dutch Wonderland

For Brandon's birthday adventure, we took him to Dutch Wonderland. Dutch Wonderland is basically Six Flags for toddlers.

This may make me a bad parent, but I haAaAate Dutch Wonderland. I was constantly surrounded by hundreds of kids, and at any given point 20% of those kids were having meltdowns, and those "meltdowning" kids were always standing right beside me.

The kids were bad, but the parents were even worse. Every conversation I overheard was about little league, potty training, or how much stronger, taller, and smarter their kid was than someone else's kid.

Half way through the day, I was already mentally writing a "Curse #28" post about Dutch Wonderland in my head. I even took a picture of the animatronic bears as one of the reasons I hated it. (Seriously, are those not the creepiest?)


However I also saw this all day...


and this....
***Warning***Do not try to take a picture on the dizzy turtle. You will get really sick looking through the view finder.

and this...

My experience completely changed when I tuned out all the annoying background noise (and animatronic bears) and focused on what was really important. When my focus changed, Dutch Wonderland moved from Curse #28 to Blessing #81.

Curse #27 - No Power

This weekend, Hurricane Irene barrelled into town. We went and stayed at the guest house (the one on the horse farm that I clean) just to give me peace of mind.

Friday, we took B out for his birthday, and at one point Shad checked his messages only to have a voicemail from our power company informing us that we could lose power from the stores for up to four days. When Shad told me about that message, I started to feel myself tense. I wasn't as nervous about the hurricane as I was about losing power.

Saturday night, I woke up to realize that we had indeed lost our power. To keep myself sane during the experience I kept a log for the blog. (Say that five times fast.)

7:05 AM- The power went off around 3:00, and I woke up and inwardly screamed, "Nooooo!" I'm trying to save the laptop for emergencies (like updating my facebook status) so I'm currently using a strange technology called "paper and pen." My allergies are acting up so I can't sleep. Shad had to go in to work at 6:00. When I called him at 7:00, all he said was, "The generators are messed up, so I can't talk." This is going to be a long day.

7:16 AM- I poured myself my morning glass of tea (unsweet with a little splenda), and I realized that I only have about 1/3 of a gallon (approximately 3 pints) of tea. If I'm going to survive this day I need a steady flow of caffeine, and with my dwindling resources, I will have to find a supply elsewhere. Stay calm! Think! Try to remember every episode of Man vs. Wild I have ever seen. Was this situation ever on there?

8:20 AM- Shad just got back from work. I was so happy to see him, but then he said, "What's for breakfast?" as soon as he walked in the door. I suddenly felt the strong urge to push him back out the door.


8:30 AM- (Sorry for the picture, just turn your head to the left.) Shad was determined to have a hot breakfast so he rigged this up and he did have hot oatmeal. Tonight, as we sit in the dark when our last candle burns out, I will look at him and say, "But you just haaaad to have a warm breakfast."

9:25 AM- B woke up, but fortunately for us, Shad's brother and his family stayed here last night, and B is happily playing with his cousin. He is going to want a hurricane all the time.

10:30 AM- THE POWER IS BACK ON!!!

12:20 PM- Shad got called back in to work around 11:00, and I started cleaning on the guest house some. I could do some more work, but Collin really wants to take a nap and he was hating the pack'n'play. I loaded up the van all by myself, and now we are headed home!

12:32 PM- When we got home, Collin was already asleep so I quietly got him in his bed. B was resting in his room, and I sat down to rest....That lasted about 30 seconds. 30 seconds after I sat down THE POWER CUT OFF AGAIN! I am not exagerating it really was 30 seconds! My inner clock doesn't lie.

1:28 PM- Shad got back home, and I think he started to say, "What's for lunch?" but he caught himself. Collin woke up from his nap because it is so quiet, and we decided to head back to the guest house to let B play with his cousin.

2:15 PM- B and his cousin are playing "tornado" now. This is a super sweet conversation I heard between them...

cousin- I love you Brandon.

B- Why?

cousin- Because you are
my family, and I love all my family.

B- Oh! I love you too buddy!

3:27 PM- The power is back on, but I am not lookin' like a fool again. So we are making sure it's for real this time.

4:30 PM- We are headed home for real this time!

Blessing #80- Brandon turns 5

Dear Mr. Brandon,

Here we are, your fifth birthday. I really cannot believe both of us have survived up to this point, and we still have smiles on our faces...most days.


Four was a very big year for you. This year you got a new brother, and despite my nervousness, you seamlessly became a loving and protective big brother.

You went to a 3 day a week pre-school and did, "Greeeeeeeeeat," (at least that's what the teacher hesitantly told me every time I asked how you were doing).

You enjoy going to church and sitting with the Plummers (and their ipad), visiting all the ladies that give you candy, and petting Molly, the dog, after the service.

You learned how to identify numerals like 1 or 7 and that made the math nerd in me so proud.

You read your first words like cat, ran, velociraptor, and hop (I might be lying about one of those words).

You got three stars on most of the levels of Angry Birds.


You wore a pair of camouflage rain boots almost everyday for six months.

You stayed in Georgia with Mimi and Poppy for a week all by yourself, and got to enjoy being the center of the universe.

You made it through Awanas and got a ribbon for "participating" thanks to my forgetfulness to help you with your verses.


You lost your first tooth in typical Brandon fashion.

You love to wear blue jeans, often wearing them to bed, and I have to force you to wear shorts. In fact, the other day I heard Shad...ahem...Dad threaten you when you were misbehaving by saying, "If you don't obey, you are wearing shorts."

You are still a terribly picky eater, but you are starting to try new things.

You asked Jesus into your heart and I was so thrilled to be their to hear your sweet little prayer.


Your favorite place to eat is Chickfila, four years and running.

Your favorite line when you get in trouble is, "But Mooooom, I was just haffin' fun!"

You have no concept of your age and you seem completely unintimidated by older kids and adults.

You hate, HaTe, HATE to color in the lines (literally and figuratively).

You experienced your first earthquake. In fact, the moment it first started, you were on the toilet. Now I know that there are a ton of jokes I could make right here, but you more than anyone know that crude jokes make me gag so I will just leave that up to you.[insert "I was on the toilet and an earthquake" started joke here]

You have a big imagination that reminds me of my own.

Your mischievous little smile makes me nervous of what you are thinking and melts my heart all at the same time.

You have me wrapped around your finger.

Five years ago today, I held you in my arms for the first time, and on that day I knew I loved you, but I had no idea of the fun and sparkle you would bring into my life. I love you and the little man you are becoming. Happy birthday B!

Curse #26 - Earthquakes

Tuesday, as everyone knows by now, the east coast was hit by an earthquake. I don't know how long it lasted, but it lasted long enough for me to realize what might be happening, grab the boys, and stand in a doorway. However, even as I was in the doorway I thought, "This isn't really an earthquake, right? This is just a joke...Oh look! The walls are moving, but it can't be an earthquake though...Would you look at that, all my pictures are shaking. But it's not an earthquake."

In that moment I learned I really don't like earthquakes at all. The earthquake is the jerk of the natural disasters.

Floods can happen quickly, but they give you warning. If you see alot of rain usually a flood is coming. Hurricanes have those outter bands that aren't as strong just to get you ready, and even if I didn't know what a tornado was, the giant spinning black funnel cloud would be enough to make me take cover.

All those natural disasters give you a heads up, "Hey, something bad is happening," but an earthquake is a jerk. No warning, nothing. He just starts shaking, and leaves you standing in a doorway with two little boys thinking, "This isn't really an earthquake?"

Blessing #79 - Aunt Peggy's Blanket

With Brandon's birthday week in full swing, I've been remembering all the events around his birth. One special memory involves this blanket.


It all started a few weeks before Brandon was born. My Aunt Peggy's birthday was approaching, and she called to inform me that it would be just fine if the baby was born on her birthday.

We had a great talk that day, and I promised Aunt Peggy I would talk to the baby and see if he would be born on her birthday. Well, much to her disappointment, Brandon did not cooperate.

My dad's mom passed away before I was born, but God blessed me with five loving aunts and one of the sweetest uncles ever. All of my aunts were not your typical aunts, and Aunt Peggy was one of the most...untypical. Aunt Peggy had a child like enthusiasm for life. She was fun, and she absolutely loved me for no other reason than I was her baby brother's baby daughter. At my wedding shower, she couldn't even introduce herself. She stood up and said, "My name is Peggy and I'm Stephanie's Aunn...(that's where she started crying)." She then went on in a choked up voice to explain how much she loved me. In fact, I believe if I listen to my wedding video I can pick out Aunt Peggy sniffing back tears above everyone else. Aunt Peggy loved me to the fullest, but everything she did was to the fullest.

Just two days after her birthday, my Aunt Peggy passed away suddenly. Our entire family was shell-shocked and heart broken. The funeral was in North Carolina, and I was too pregnant to travel.

One week after my Aunt Peggy's funeral, Brandon was born. When my dad visited me in the hospital he gave me this blanket and told me the amazing story it had. After my aunt's funeral, a woman approached my dad and said that my Aunt Peggy had ordered this blanket for Brandon from her. The lady had worked to finish it and gave it to my dad. Around the edge of the blanket Aunt Peggy had ordered the words "Lil Bil." Brandon's initials are BIL and my dad's name is Bill. We didn't plan that, but once we discovered it we thought it was cool.


The first night we had Brandon at home, no receiving blanket could fit the 9lb. 9oz. baby so we couldn't swaddle him. In desperation, we tried my Aunt Peggy's blanket, and it worked perfectly. Late that night, holding my perfectly swaddled baby, I cried missing my Aunt Peggy.

Five years later, I still have his blanket, and I can't help but think of my amazing Aunt when I see it, and how I can't wait to see her someday and finally thank her for it.

Blessing #78- Needlework...Embroidery?

There are certain things that make my heart flutter (other than my husband and the boys). Many times, I have explained how I have a thing for ball jars and vintage pyrex, but there is one more thing on that list that I love...needlework...embroidery. I don't know exactly what it's called, I just know I love it!

The pieces that I have look like they are from the 70's. If you look in the background of this picture from Saturdate with Southern Plate you'll see the first piece I found.

About a year ago, I found this piece at Goodwill.


Saturday, we went to a festival in our town, and decided to hit a few yard sales afterwards. We haven't had much luck in a few months with yard sales. We had one day at the start of the season where we found so much good stuff, but since then it' been week after week of...NOTHING!

Shad got out for a quick look at the yard sale and I stayed in the car with the boys. Bored senseless, I scanned over the sale. Then a light shone down from the sky, and I heard angels sing, "Stephanie. Look at THAAAAAAT!" (Make sure you hit the high note on that last word.)


I couldn't believe my eyes, a 2ft. by 3ft. needlework in the colors of my house, in the coolest tree and bird design. I yelled, "Oh my goodness," and jumped out of my car asking Shad to come watch the boys, and trying with no success to hide my excitement (I would be a terrible poker player). I ran up the to the piece, and it was $3! I thought I had died and gone to yard sale heaven!



I could tell the owners had no idea why I would be excited about the picture. I think they may have even thought the picture was ugly, but I just love it. I went home and immediately found a spot for it. I don't know if the picture will stay in that spot, but for now it's working. I need to get or make a cushion for that chair, but I'm not quite sure what fabric I want to use.

This morning, as I blog I'm sitting on my couch, angled just so I can see my needlework...embroidery and I just love it. It may just be an ugly picture to some, but for me it's just another step to making my house feel like home.

Saturdate with Southern Plate: Blackberry Cobbler

I've been kind of slack posting my Saturdate with Southern Plates over the past few months, but I've been cookin' them just not posting them. Here's a recipe I made over a month ago.

One night, Shad and I were riding around on the farm he works on, and Shad said, "Here's the berries I've been eating this week." Normally that line would make me nervous about what he was eating, but I immediately recognized these berries...blackberries and raspberries, and bunches of them!

I knew blackberry cobbler was in Southern Plate cookbook, and being ever so adventurous (and cheap) I set out to pick my own blackberries.

I had several thoughts running through my mind in this picture. Here are just a few of them.

Doesn't everyone wear a sequined sweater when they go blackberry pickin'?

Was that a snake slithering across my foot? Oh, it was just a stick.

Flip-flops were definitely not a smart berry picking shoe choice.

Is that poison ivy?

Does poison ivy have five leaves or three?

Mama said to watch out for chiggars when you pick blackberries?

What are chiggars? (by the way I googled chiggars, and the actual picture of a chiggar now haunts my nightmares)

Is it safe for Brandon to be eating these right off the vine?

He's eaten much worse.

Note to self: Never let the four year old be in charge of the berry bucket.

Here was my harvest (I know "harvest" is an overstatement, but humor me.) Yes, I survived blackberry pickin' chiggar free!


We ate most of the raspberries before we got home, but I saved the blackberries for the cobbler. I hate the little seeds in blackberries so I only put about a cup and three quarters of blackberries in it. I guess it should have been called "cobbler with a few blackberries in it" instead of blackberry cobbler, but it was great. I love the tartness of the blackberries with the cobbler. I will definitely make this again next year when blackberry season rolls around.

? - August 18

August 18 is a day that I don't know how to categorize, blessing or curse. August 18 is the day that we moved from Georgia to Maryland.

I know moving may not seem like a big deal, but there were so many things going on in my life around that time, moving was just one of the things I was facing. Things I don't really feel comfortable blogging about right now (yes, I actually have a few boundaries). The best way that I can say it is, that summer everything that was ever solid and sure in my life over the course of a few months wasn't so sure and solid, and it all led up to a climax on August 18.

I could lie and say, "I look back on that day, and it is such a blessing in my life," but I can't say that just yet. August 18 three years ago was painful. I had spent three days saying goodbye to more people than any heart can take. It was hard to eat because I felt a constant lump in my throat. I still couldn't deal with everything else that had happened much less moving. I had no idea what my reaction would be when we moved. I hoped and prayed I could handle it, but in the back of my mind I didn't believe I could. August 18 three years ago, I was shattered and broken.

Although it was painful, I can't look back and classify that day as a curse. Most of the prayers we had that day are still unanswered, however God has given me blessings through it. Compassion instead of judgement for others going through things, a truer love for my husband, a realization of how precious my family in GA is, and a strength that I never knew was in me.

Since that day, the broken things in the Bible really stand out to me: Gideon's pitchers that were broken to show the light, the vessel the Potter broke in Jeremiah, the bread and fish He broke to feed 5000, the alabaster box that was broken on His feet, and Christ's own body was broken for me.

Although I still don't know how to classify August 18, I do know that August 18 three years ago I was broken and shattered, but today, August 18, I think God is making something beautiful from that brokenness.

Random Acts of Craftiness #2 - The Crate Side Table

I've been looking for some different side tables in my living room. Shad found this table in someone's yard. He passed by on Monday and saw it, and he figured it was leftover from a yard sale. He asked the owner and they gave it to him.

When he brought it home, he didn't know if I would like it, but I love that the shape is an octagon and I love the hardware on it.

The top of the table has some water damage, but that didn't bother me. Inspired by my love of old crates and the crate stairs on Funky Junk Interiors, I knew I wanted the top of the table to have an old crate look.

I removed the top of the table and sanded it down, and then I made a stencil out of shelf paper like I did on the boys t-shirts.

I used S&S as the logo on my "crate" for Shad and Stephanie. The number at the bottom is our anniversary.
Now, there are so many problems with this picture, but one really big problem. The logo is too small and it's not centered (I thought I could eyeball it.) I was thinking about painting a stripe at this point, but I decided against it. However, all those mess-ups pail in comparison to my big mess-up.

After I painted on the number, I sat there and stared at it, and then I saw it "071904" our anniversary...wait...our anniversary is 0719...03!!!

I felt like an absolute idiot! Shad walked by and I asked him, "What's wrong with this?" He answered, "The logo isn't centered...and that's not our anniversary." Isn't it usually the husband that forgets the anniversary?

Determined not to be bested by a table, I sanded the top and set out to fix my mistakes.

This looks much better! I then stained the top, polyurethaned it, painted the bottom blue, and put it all back together to get...

My new side table!

Right now, I keep these boxes on this table, and the anniversary...the correct anniversary still shows.

I'm still looking for just the right basket to go underneath the table top to fill in that blank space. After a colossal mishap, I ended up having something I really love.

I'll be sharing this with a some of these sites.

Blessing #77- Brandon's Jobs

Brandon has a very big imagination. He is always pretending, but does he pretend that he's an astronaut walking on the moon? Nope. Does he pretend that he's a dinosaur tramping through the jungle. No, not Brandon. Any time Brandon pretends, he pretends that he is working. At least once a day, I will ask him to do something for me, and he will say, "Woo, but Mom I'm tired. I've been working all day," and in his mind, he really has.

Many times he will start a conversation with someone by telling them, "Yeah I've been working today," and he goes through the list of imaginary jobs that he accomplished that day. "We cleared out the woods and made a road. I worked with some excavators. Yeah, I've been working." The person who was just saying the boys were cute in passing will look at me with a blank stare, and I will just shrug my shoulders.

One of Brandon's "jobs" is a chef. Any time he gets a hold of one of my spatulas or other cooking utensils he starts "cooking." He will ask me "What would you like today. We have tomatoes." I play along and say, "Oh, can I have some salsa?" He looks at me like I'm crazy, "No, all we have is tomatoes."

Any time B is playing outside he is working on a construction site. When I ask him to come in he answers, "But mommy, we have to finish the bridge or it will collapse!" When Shad found a broken cell phone, Brandon carried it around for days, and would make his "work" calls on it. Once I heard him arguing into the phone, "Juan, we need that dynamite right now!!!" I have no idea what he was planning, but I was nervous.

(just ignore the date on that picture)

Last week Brandon started a new "job." It started when Brandon was packing for an overnight to his grandparents. After he packed every clothing item he has (I'm not kidding. 14 pairs of underwear for one night.) I sorted through what he should take. When I found the suit jacket, I held it up and snickered and told Brandon he didn't need a suit jacket. "But Mooooom, what if I have to preach." His logic made me laugh so I packed it for him, and that night he must have "preached" several sermons to his grandparents. What does a Brandon sermon sound like? Here is one that he gave me.

God *clap clap clap* cah-reated everything *clap clap clap* everything! We need to encourage. *clap clap* Son of God *clap* They were in Egypt! *clap clap clap* God cah-reated Son of God. *clap clap* Now I'm going to baptize Collin.

Do you know how hard it is to keep a straight face during one of his sermons, but I always play along because I know it's important to him. Someday he'll have a real job, but until then Brandon's imaginary jobs add excitement to our days.

Blessing #76- The Hair Theory

A year ago this month, Shad and I started looking for a church for our family. This was the first time either of us ever had to go through that process, and after four months of visiting churches we found the church we are at now. As we were visiting different churches I started to notice a pattern, and that's when I developed the "hair theory."

After a few Sundays of visiting churches, I noticed that every guy that led the music in every church we went to had hair, and not just a headful of hair, but his own distinct signature look.

After a few Sundays, it became a game with Shad and I whether the hair theory would hold true. Week after week I was proven right. Then one fateful Sunday we went to a church were the worship leader was bald, and not just bald, he was cue ball bald. Shad leaned over and said, "There goes you hair theory." I pouted the rest of the service and tried to revise the hair theory to include "voluntary baldness."

The next Sunday, we visited the same church and at the start of the service another man, with a headful of hair spiked all over his head, started to lead the music and said, "I had a great time on vacation last week." Mr. Cue Ball was only the fill in worship leader. The hair theory still held like a bottle of Aquanet from the 1980's (before the ozone had a hole)!

I don't have pictures of all the worship leaders we saw as we visited churches, but I do have a few pictures to prove my point.

George Beverly Shea sung with Billy Graham in all his crusades...hair theory holds.

Bill Gaither who has written 50% of the songs sung in southern churches...hair theory holds.

Vintage Steven Curtis Chapman from the 1980's...hair theory holds, and it's a mullet, bonus points!

Visiting a different church every week can be hard, but the hair theory was just a little thing that made me look forward to going to each church and made the whole process a little more fun.

Blessing #75 - The First Lost Tooth

Brandon lost his first tooth Sunday! He had damaged the tooth when he was small in a fall(accident #1), and the tooth was slightly discolored. The dentist has always kept a close eye on it because it could develop an infection.

At VBS Brandon busted his mouth and damaged his other front tooth (accident #2). We went to the dentist to check that tooth, and they noticed that the discolored tooth was starting to develop an infection. (Are you keeping up?) The dentist said they could pull out both front teeth, or we could wait and see. I have a slight (*cough cough *huge* cough cough*) fear of the dentist, and I really think having the dentist pull out both of B's front teeth at once would be traumatic for him so we decided to wait and see. He's been going to the dentist regularly to make sure that the infection didn't flare up.

Sunday night he was playing in a pop up tunnel we had gotten at a yard sale. He kept pushing the tunnel down and when the tunnel popped up it took his tooth with it (accident #3).



He sat there stunned for the first few seconds then he reached down, picked up his tooth, and started screaming. Shad and I took care of him, and tried to console him. "I want my grandma!" he screamed. He didn't specify which grandma, Mimi or Mom-mom, but I don't think he cared.

I'm so glad the pop up tunnel took care of the tooth and the dentist doesn't have to pull it. We still have to keep an eye on the other tooth he damaged so that it doesn't develop an infection, but I have a feeling Brandon may find a way to take care of that one too.

I remember sticking my tongue in the whole after I lost my first tooth. I'm glad I got a picture of Brandon doing the same.

Losing your front tooth just helps when you want to do your scary monster face.


I was trying to take a picture to show that Collin is cutting his bottom two teeth, but Collin seems like he is thinking, "Hey Mom? Don't they do something like this to horses?"

Blessing #74 - A heart slap full

Yesterday at church, Collin had his baby dedication, and Brandon got baptized. The church had a two-for-one special. (Lame joke. I know, but I couldn't resist.) In one moment, Shad and I were standing on stage with Collin and the pastor praying that we would be good parents, and in the next moment I got to see Brandon get baptized. All that excitement and emotion made me one big weepy mess.

Honestly, I was a little nervous...ok...a lot nervous about what Brandon was going to do when he was baptized. I just knew he was going to jump off the side and yell, "Cannonball!" just like he did when he was swimming in Georgia, but much to my surprise and thanks to all the practicing we did in the bath tub, Brandon was an all-star.

When he was asked right before he was baptized, "Brandon, have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior," Brandon answered with the sweetest and strongest, "Yes sir!" As if I wasn't emotional enough, that "Yes sir," just did me in! I wanted to turn around to the people behind me and say,"Did you hear that 'Yes sir?' He's getting so biiiiiig so fast."(**hooooonk**) Thankfully, I resisted the urge, and just savored the sweet moment in front of me through my teary eyes and a heart that was slap full of all that God has given me.

Blessing #73- *pat pat pat pat*

I think it is so amazing that babies can learn sign language. Babies can sign when they are hungry, wet, and even say thank you. However, as much as I think it's amazing, I have never taught my boys sign language (Yes, I know mother of the year.)

Despite my poor mothering skills, Collin has developed his own sign. I noticed it a month ago when I gave him food. If he really likes a certain food, he taps his hand on his high chair *pat pat pat pat.* If we are playing and something makes him laugh, he taps his hand on the floor, *pat pat pat pat.*

I have come to the conclusion that *pat pat pat pat* means, "I want more, please." (He had to throw the last pat in just to be polite.) If he REALLY likes a food he pats very loudly *pat PaT PAT PAT.* The louder the pat, the better he likes the food.

I love his little sign, and how it gives me a window into his little mind. Honestly, I origianly thought *pat pat pat pat* meant "I love you so much mommy. You are the best cook ever. This is so delicious," but I thought that was a bit of a stretch.

Curse #25 - The Bachelor

Where will I be at 9:59 tonight? I will be sitting on the edge of my couch waiting to hear J.P. or Ben (for the record my bet is J.P.).

See, I have a shameful secret, I'm a Bachelor/Bachelorette fan. I'm not proud of it, and every year I try stop the Bachelor. It's not a good show and it's demeaning to women, but every time a new season starts I get sucked in.

Every season I vow, "I won't get sucked into that show again," but then I hear those 5 magic words, "The most dramatic episode ever!" My mind starts racing...

More dramatic than the time when the Bachelor changed his mind after he picked the girl.

MORe DrAmAtIC thAn ThE tImE tHe BaCHeLor PiCkeD NeiTHeR GIrl.

MORE DRAMATIC THAN WHEN THE BACHELOR SWITCHED PLACES WITH HIS TWIN BROTHER TO SEE WHICH GIRLS NOTICED AND THUS PROVED THEIR UNDYING LOVE FOR THE BACHELOR!

...and at those 5 magical words, I'm hooked again.

Yes, at 9:59 I will be on pins and needles waiting to see who gets the girl and who gets the limo ride of tears. Where will I be from 10:00-10:02? I will be ranting, "I will never watch that show again! Never! There's a reason why he's still a bachelor!," and then at 10:03 Shad will say, "Hey Honey! The Bachelorette after the final Rose special is on, and it's the most dramatic one yet," and I will shamefully take my place on the couch sucked in by that dreadful show again.