I know moving may not seem like a big deal, but there were so many things going on in my life around that time, moving was just one of the things I was facing. Things I don't really feel comfortable blogging about right now (yes, I actually have a few boundaries). The best way that I can say it is, that summer everything that was ever solid and sure in my life over the course of a few months wasn't so sure and solid, and it all led up to a climax on August 18.
I could lie and say, "I look back on that day, and it is such a blessing in my life," but I can't say that just yet. August 18 three years ago was painful. I had spent three days saying goodbye to more people than any heart can take. It was hard to eat because I felt a constant lump in my throat. I still couldn't deal with everything else that had happened much less moving. I had no idea what my reaction would be when we moved. I hoped and prayed I could handle it, but in the back of my mind I didn't believe I could. August 18 three years ago, I was shattered and broken.
Although it was painful, I can't look back and classify that day as a curse. Most of the prayers we had that day are still unanswered, however God has given me blessings through it. Compassion instead of judgement for others going through things, a truer love for my husband, a realization of how precious my family in GA is, and a strength that I never knew was in me.
Since that day, the broken things in the Bible really stand out to me: Gideon's pitchers that were broken to show the light, the vessel the Potter broke in Jeremiah, the bread and fish He broke to feed 5000, the alabaster box that was broken on His feet, and Christ's own body was broken for me.
Although I still don't know how to classify August 18, I do know that August 18 three years ago I was broken and shattered, but today, August 18, I think God is making something beautiful from that brokenness.
I have calculted 1095 times, and get the same answer. There are two x factors that keeps me from shouting to the world the answer. The first is the Bible, Rom.8:28. I have to calculate that into the equation. That may change the answer. The second, is You. Your being used of the Lord, helping others and maturing. Your spirit is commendable. Sometimes the answer is not as simple as yes or no, blessing or curse, the x factors must be considered. #3
ReplyDeleteHi Steph,
ReplyDeleteI found you from a comment you made about chalk paint....think it was "you're talking too much. blogspot.com".
Any way I was touched by your post about moving from Georgia to Maryland. My move was the reverse. And I really counted it as a blessing. Don't forget, Maryland is still below the Mason Dixon line, so technically you are still a southerner.
I came from a family of 10 in a chaotic household. My family was disconnected and unhappy. So when I got the chance to marry and move to Georgia, I thought I had died and gone to heaven.
I know that Maryland is very different from Georgia, from the people to the weather, but there is good to be found in each state. I do hope that you have found some happiness there.
I love it here in Kennesaw but it sure is not the same as when we moved here in 1980. Tooooo crowed and it is like the United Nations here. I feel in the minority. Ha!
Blessings and Pax Christi,
charlotte
So honest. I have had an Aug 18. I get this. xoxoxo
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