Blessing #25- Barbque

On Saturdate with Southern Plate, I mentioned that my dad was a bbq connoisseur. Growing up, he took our family to so many bbq places that we became experts by default. I know the difference between South Carolina and Georgia bbq sauce. I can tell you what state a bowl of Brunswick stew came from just by looking at it.

After marrying into the family, Shad has even developed a love of bbq. That’s a long way from where he first started when he considered an Arby’s roast beef sandwich to be bbq.{blasphemy!}

I realize that not everyone had the same upbringing that I had. Some may see a rough bbq joint and be afraid to eat there. So to help, I (with the help of my expert dad) have developed the Piggo score. Just like the FICO score shows credit risk, the Piggo score show’s the risk of a bbq place not being good. Use it to find out if you should eat at a bbq restaurant.

The Piggo Score Test

Outside
1. If the name of the bbq place is one syllable (don‘t include the word bbq), give it 3 points.
If it’s two syllables, give it 2 points.
If it’s three syllables, give it 1 points.

2. If the name is in the possessive form, like Zeb’s or Huck’s, add 2 points. (Be nervous about any bbq cook that is afraid to put their name on their bbq.)

3. If the person the place is named after is no longer alive, add 2 points. (I know that sounds morbid, but that shows longevity.)

4. If you can see the interstate from the parking lot, subtract 1 point

5. If the parking lot is unpaved, add 1 point.

6. If most of the car tags in the parking lot are local tags. add 1 point.

7. If the sign has pigs on it, add 1 point.

8. If the sign is pink, add 1 point.

9. If this place is one of a kind, not a chain, add 1 point.

Atmosphere10. If the all the artwork on the walls is of pigs or the local college football team add 1 point.

11. If they sell their own t-shirts add 1 point.

12. If they only accept cash, add 1 point.

13. If the tv is showing Andy Griffeth episodes and or Nascar, add 1 point.

14. If the entire menu fits on the front of a piece of paper, add 1 point. (Good bbq places only stick to a few items.)

15. If the door to the bathroom is actually a door to the outside, add 1 point.

Food16. If there is loaf bread on the table add 1 points.

17. If that bread is Sunbeam bread add 1 point.

18. If they bring you a bag of plain potato chips with your meal add 1 point.

19. If there are potatoes in the Brunswick stew subtract 2 points (Unless you are in North Carolina or Alabama because that is considered normal there. )

20. If they give free refills on stew, add 1 point.

ResultsIf the piggo score is between 14 to 20 points, go on in! It may look rough, but the bbq will be delicious.

If the piggo score is between 7 to 13 points, proceed with caution. This restaurant is a gamble. The bbq might not be bad, but it won't be memorable.

If the piggo score is between 0 to 6 points RUN AWAY! It is probably a chain restaurant. BBQ is an art and cannot be mass produced. You are better off eating chicken nuggets with bbq sauce at McDonald's.


***My dad placed a condition on his helping me. If you know of any good bbq places, please leave them in the comments. He loves to know where good places are when he travels.

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